Always a Little Wonky

This week’s got me like:

When I started trying to narrow down exactly what it was, my head kept correcting me. I said “WOW, what a week!” and my head went “You mean, what a month, what a year, what a past few years.”

This is exactly why I have self-esteem issues.

Let’s ignore for a bit that I talk to myself. Everyone does that, right? It’s just sometimes, well a lot of times, life in general is freaking overwhelming. Between school, being a caregiver, being a mom, trying to be an independent person, doing what I have to and trying to find time for something fun, there just isn’t enough time in the day.

There’s not enough time in the day, y’all.

School is chugging along. I am having to contend with trying to pass and instructors that will not allow even a comma out of place. When I am say they won’t allow it, I am saying you fail if you have more than four errors. BIG FAT F. That stings, I don’t care how old you are. I know that I don’t/can’t/won’t edit myself but this is a HUGE stumbling block to trying to get out of this Master’s program. I have three more months. Say a prayer to the old gods and the new for me…I just need to be done with some bit of dignity left.

I have been writing about Little Monkey a long time. Every time I go backwards and look at pictures here, I am reduced to a puddle in the floor. I have said before, the idea that she will be 16 this summer is mind-blowing. We are making college dream sheets and planning visits and trying to work out the what/how/where. It is daunting. The first two were real clear about what they wanted to do and had real decisions made pretty quickly about where that would be but this one, man, this one wants the sun and the moon.

I’m not kidding.

Little Monkey wants to go to an Ivy League school, become a doctor, apply to NASA and become an astronaut. I blame Interstellar for this. She watches this movie all the damn time and can’t stop. She has been obsessed with the stars for as long as I can remember and taking her to Huntsville last year did nothing to help quell that fire. It’s my job to encourage her, right? Despite it being a hard road, despite it being complicated, despite it being such a narrow field…I am the MOM, I HAVE to encourage. She is pretty much a bad ass, so who am I to say that she can’t do something? The world takes enough from you. I am looking forward to her punching the world right in the face and saying NOT TODAY WORLD. (If someone can, it will be her.)

My long list of projects continues to grow. We got all the carpet pulled up but now can’t decide between all hard wood or partial carpet. It makes my head hurts. My table is a little too wobbly for the amount that we use it so we are going to build this pedestal, twice, and remedy that. That means I need new equipment from Kreg but I will figure that out eventually. Then there is the painting. The living room, the bedrooms, the bathrooms, the kitchen, outside stuff…

Did I mention I have a headache?

My sweet old lady dog hasn’t been doing well. I knew this would happen, it’s just never something you are prepared for, I don’t care how old you are. In and out of the hospital for weeks, the ladies at Paws and Claws have been fantastic but I am afraid it’s the beginning of a long struggle. Today she is happy and I am happy for that.